The Secret Successful Leaders Are Too Embarrassed To Tell You! (But they all do it!)

ALL successful leaders do it to improve their self confidence. They all know it’s important. Yet very few teach it! Because they’re too embarrassed!

What is it?

Whoah there – let me get this into some kind of context first.

Your self confidence and the kind you see in successful leaders, comes from many, many things of course! From your upbringing; your schooling; your peer group; significant relationships and so on.

How to get more self confidence is a mixture of some and all of these things.

But specifically, for the purposes of this article; how to get more self confidence so you feel even better about working as a leader in the network marketing business.

I’m going to reveal to you ONE single factor that makes MORE difference than anything else!

Now that’s a bold statement I know! And once you’ve read this article I certainly invite you to comment below with your own views! After all, isn’t that what any self-respecting CONFIDENT person would do?

When you begin a new business like network marketing, the potential is huge!

The potential to build a large team and from that a large income is massive!

YOUR potential to be the leader of that team and to reap the rewards from building it is ALSO tremendous and it doesn’t matter who you think you are now!

So, you set out to take MASSIVE action to build your team and presumably when you begin a new MLM (network marketing) business how to get more self confidence may not at first be a big issue?

You have seen the business model and you believe in it! You have seen company and the products and you believe in them! And you have seen the leaders in the company and you believe in them too!

So taking massive action to commence your business though a trifle scary is no big deal!

And then what happens?

Well… you get some RESULTS!

Now I’m not saying whether those results are good or bad – but they ARE results!

IF they are GOOD results then your BELIEF in the business and your own self confidence grows! Yes?

But, if on the other hand they are BAD results then your beliefs take a knock and likely your self confidence does too! Maybe not a lot at first, that depends on how strong your personal self confidence is to begin with and your beliefs about results good OR bad!

However, BAD results repeated over and over and over, inevitably will knock your confidence at the very least in the business and for some, it may well knock their self confidence too.

And what does that then do to your POTENTIAL and your self confidence?

When bad results knock your beliefs, then what are you left with?

LOWER potential and less inclination to take more action!

So, you take less action which leads to FEWER results, especially the GOOD ones!

And what happens if this is your second or third or fourth or fifth (11 in the case of one current industry number one leader!) attempt at this industry?

This is very common with the network marketing industry! We get hooked in on the dream; we like the company, products, leaders and we take massive action and we get the same old, same old poor results!

So now we have stacked negative belief upon negative belief, upon negative belief!

And for some, maybe this is you, maybe it isn’t – but for some, self confidence takes a beating!

Have you ever bought an appliance off a salesperson that didn’t appear to believe in it that much? Or they appeared utterly desperate to get a sale?

Probably not – or if you did – it was because you had made up your mind before you even met them and their sales pitch, good or bad was irrelevant to you.

But in most cases, when a salesperson has lost belief in what they are pitching, even though deep down they still believe it might work, you are most unlikely to want to buy from them.


So, how to get more self confidence and belief in something you really want to work, something you know should work, something you see the leaders making work comes down to that crucial word, BELIEF!

Yet, if up to now you have had mediocre to darn right atrocious results, no matter what you’ve tried, inevitably your beliefs and maybe your self confidence too are going to take a knock.

But here’s the kicker… here’s the thing that makes MLM extraordinary and which keeps most us who love it – trying and trying and trying…

We KNOW it works!

How? Because we see our leaders in our respective company’s making it work, over and over and over again!

So how do we get our beliefs and our self confidence up to the levels of the leaders in our company, a level where our BELIEFS are strong, our POTENTIAL is stronger and our RESULTS are GOOD!?

The answer is (drum roll please maestro!)…..


OK – now it sounds like I’ve lost the plot!

But I’m serious!

If you want to get GOOD results, you have to grow your beliefs in what you are doing!

Not just your beliefs in your company, but your beliefs in what YOU are doing to make your business grow!

For THAT to happen you need more CERTAINTY about the POTENTIAL of your actions!

And once you have that CERTAINTY – your actions become wayyy more effective!

Look, I’m a Life Coach, which means I work with people to take their lives to the next level!

I DO NOT motivate them though! My clients are always pretty fired up and motivated by the time they seek out a Life Coach!

No, what I do is STRATEGISE with them about how to reach their goals and dreams!

And nine times out of ten, that strategy involves REHEARSAL!

You’ve heard the phrase, ‘Success leaves clues’ – right?

In other words, what successful people do, how they do it, the strategies they use are all there for others to see, pull apart, investigate and duplicate if they are committed enough to do it!

So, if you want success too in your business, how to get self confidence in that, is by modelling (copying) successful leaders in your company!

So learn what they do… by hook or by crook – get those strategies from them and then…. REHEARSE them in your mind!


Here’s an exercise my teacher and mentorTony Robbins taught me to illustrate this crucial point.

  1. Stand up straight, put your feet together, put your arm out in front of you and point straight ahead.
  2. Then, without moving your feet, gently spin your body around, still pointing with your finger and keeping your arm straight, until you can get around no further.
  3. Notice what your finger is pointing at and then return to your original position and relax.
  4. Now this time, do exactly the same thing again, but IN YOUR IMAGINATION ONLY!
  5. This time make your arm swing around an extra fifty percent on what you achieved in reality.
  6. Do this IN YOUR IMAGINATION a couple of times and then finally, MAKE YOUR FINGER spin 360 degrees Owl like, all the way round!
  7. Finally, repeat the original exercise for real. Spin your arm gently around, without moving your feet and notice what you are pointing at!

Most people, doing this exercise notice that on the second physical attempt they can move their arm around MUCH further. (I just got my 11 year old son to do this and he got at least 50% further on the second real attempt)

What changed?

His belief about what was possible of course!

How did he change his belief?

He REHEARSED it mentally and without really appreciating what he was doing he effectively increased his CERTAINTY about what was possible.

Now it’s your turn!

What are you going to rehearse today to make your business grow and improve (if you need to) your self confidence?

A suggestion?

How about rehearsing your day?

When you schedule your day, why not rehearse in your mind everything in your day going exactly the way you want it to?

I appreciate that’s very unlikely! However, there will be elements of the day that you have complete control over and are not dependent upon others for that you CAN rehearse over and over before actually doing them.

Ideally, they should be business related activities, maybe a presentation of your business, phone calls you need to make (this is a BIG one!) or an article you want to write and posted online.

But it can be anything, as long as it serves to build your REHEARSE muscle!

Because REHEARSING SUCCESSFUL STRATEGIES is the key to how to get self confidence and belief back in your network marketing business!

So, to recap…

1)      Success leaves clues

2)      Model what successful leaders do – if they have a system – copy it! If they have a particular way of working – copy it! If they say things in a certain way that seems impactful – utilise it!

3)      Rehearse the behaviours, actions and ideas you need to use AND make it your own! i.e. adapt the language and mannerisms of the people you are ‘copying’ to your own. Keep it real!

4)      Rehearsal breeds certainty!

5)      Certainty raises your self belief and self confidence!

6)      Self belief and self confidence raises your potential!

7)      Higher potential leads to well REHEARSED successful actions and

8)      Successful actions get you BETTER results!


One final, but HUGELY important thing!

Whenever possible… rehearse live! On the job! i.e. if you’ve got 20 phone calls to make today… treat the first 10 LIVE calls as rehearsals for the next 10!

And utilise ‘down time’… driving to work… mentally rehearse what you want to say at that important meeting! Sat in the bathroom… well, need I elaborate?!

Whew! I’ve laid a lot on you there – And as I sign off I’m keenly aware I could have said even  more! But I’m hoping I’ve given you enough to inspire you to TAKE MASSIVE ACTION – research the skill sets you need and REHEARSE them.

Remember, if you want change in your life….

The Change Begins With YOU!

Robin J Emdon






Robin J Emdon
Life Coach &
Network Marketing Professional

Skype: lifemaestro
Email: [email protected]

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Robin J Emdon

Life Coach, Professional Online Marketer & Coffee Snob
Online Marketer - Entrepreneur - Bad Joke Teller - Life Coach - Interweb Addict - Single Dad - Retired Retail Stores Owner - Honest to a fault - Dream Builder - Straight Talking - Works From Home - Student of Philosophy and Psychology - Passionate About Life - All Round Good Guy & Cappuccino Lover.

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  • Self believe is something very important when you want to achieve great goals in live and business. When I studied very successful people then I recognized that they all have a strong believe that they achieve what they want. I think we all have too work on our self believe to achieve our goals and dreams in a much faster time.

    • Robin J

      Hi Bruno! Thanks for dropping by! And yes – self belief is obviously a big part of self confidence. Nice point. 🙂 ~Robin~

  • Beth Hewitt

    Hey Robin,

    Wow, lots of information here. Rehearsing and practice is crucial to success. When my time was limited I would spend a lot of time practicing scripts whilst I was driving about. I also used to spend a lot of time doing videos I would do a million takes but now I can do it in 1 or 2. I wouldn’t have be able to do that without rehearsing.

    Thanks for sharing,

    Beth 🙂

    • Robin J

      Hi Beth! 🙂 That’s such a great example of what I’m talking about! Repetition (and rehearsing!) is the mother of learning alright! I’m sure you didn’t do a ‘million’ takes mind you – but yes, it must have felt like it sometimes! *smiles ~Robin~

  • I remember doing that Tony Robbins exercise in a corporate seminar once and it amazed me. We then had a UK speaker who spoke more of how and why we need to set goals and objectives and how our unconscious mind starts to focus on the.

    It’s fascinating stuff and when you see the science behind it, it seems to prove it.

    Great post,

    • Robin J

      Hi Nicky!

      Yeah – I did it with my kids! My 11 year was blown away! My 15 year old didn’t believe it! LOL

      The key to setting goals and our unconscious mind – is ‘seeing’ them as already acheived! Then our unconscious mind sets to work on joining up the dots – from where we are now… to where we ‘think’ we ought to be!

      Thanks for your comment Nicky! 🙂


  • Akos Fintor

    I have bee going through Get the Edge, and Personal Power from Tony….I must say it’s pretty cutting edge, eye opening stuff….so is this post, Robin.

    Thanks for the share!

    • Robin J

      Hey Akos,

      Thanks for the comment Akos – comparing my post Tony Robbins! You can come again! *smiles ~Robin~

  • Sue Neal

    Hi Robin,

    I love this post – I saw Tony Robbins demonstrating that exercise on a video recently and tried it out , and it’s just amazing. The power of the mind is something else!

    I’ve struggled with lack of self belief for most of my life and it’s only since I’ve been working online that I’ve really started to overcome it. Visualization’s a very powerful tool – what you see (in your head) is often what you get.


    • Robin J

      Hey Sue! 🙂

      Yeah – the mind is pretty incredible!! Visualisation is hugely powerful – especially for goal setting. Seeing things as already being achieved a few minutes a day in quiet contemplation – see, hear and feel the goal(s) as though they were part of your life now, gives your subsconscious mind the instructions it needs to make sure it happens!

      Have you ever tried that for goals Sue?

      My best,


  • Sue Neal

    Hi Robin,

    I’ve tried it with good effect for small goals, in a fairly ad hoc way, but I need to do it more consistently – it definitely works! I certainly need to make more time for quiet contemplation. Thanks for reminding me!


    • Robin J

      Yeah – it needn’t be for long! Traffic lights are good! Just close your eyes whilst they are red – and drift off into ‘goal dreaming world’. The nice person in the car behind will ALWAYS let you know when the light has turned ‘green’! Ideal!!! 🙂


  • Sue Neal

    LOL – I’m always nearly falling asleep at the wheel as it is, Robin – don’t encourage me!


  • Linda

    Wow, Robin! What an eye opener!

    I think so many of us fall into a rut once in awhile in our businesses and often find it hard to return to the top. I have been trying for many years now and haven’t quite accomplished what I have wanted to do and I think in part it is because when something doesn’t work right or when we see ourselves being copied by others (that is a hard one to get over and it happens all the time to me), then we don’t know how to overcome it.

    I am going to bookmark this page and read it on those days when I am feeling down and nothing is going right, as I need a boost like this to keep on going on not giving up. Obviously I need a self confidence booster 😉

    Thanks for such an inspiring post!


    • Robin J

      Hey Linda!

      Thank you so much for your kind comments. You really shouldn’t be concerned about others copying you! It either means you’re doing something right and you should take that as a compliment and solider on, or if it is truly something of your own creation, trust yourself to know that from wherever that creative spark came from, there’s plenty more! Come from a feeling of abundance rather than from a feeling of limitation!

      Honestly though, there’s precious little that is ‘original’ out there! I won’t say it’s impossible, but it’s certainly very unlikely! Pretty much everything is just a rehash of something else! Are we not after all, just a rehash of what we learned from our parents and school teachers? Didn’t who we are now come about partly because of what we copied from them? Language for example!

      And that’s the key Linda! Speak with your OWN voice! Yes it will be copied (flattery!) and yes you will need to keep adding new nuances and twists to your core message, but let go of worrying about being copied and instead see it as a reminder that we are constantly changing and evolving and embrace it!

      My best,


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